Hello, I’m Rachel. I write about nature and creativity to encourage connection and wellbeing. This is one of my regular posts about the natural wonders I see when I’m out and about. To read more of them - go to my homepage and click on the noticing nature tab.
Time away, time recovering after the time away, time wrapped in blankets. It was needed for a few days, but after a while, it wasn’t good for my emotional health. I needed nature, connection and creativity. Time to get outside.
I’m much better than I used to be at getting myself outside when I feel like this. I know when I need to rest due to chronic fatigue blips but once I have the energy, nature starts whispering to me, and then shouting. I’d watched some sunny moments appear in my view from the sofa, blue skies and purpley orange sunsets, jealous that others were down at the sea experiencing beautiful full moon sunset swims. But well, we can’t have it all, that’s the thing with dealing with a chronic condition, you just have to deal with the FOMO and know that there will be other days you can join in.
On the first attempt, it wasn’t sunny, but it wasn’t raining, My brain was nearly working and I had the energy to at least get ‘my spot’ a 5min walk away. My spot isn’t what most people might think of for a mindful escape, a place for nature connection - it’s the city cemetery. But, it’s also a haven, full of trees, scrub, and wildflowers, and all number of creatures great and small. While I can get out onto the South Downs with only a 5min drive or half hour walk, sometimes that’s too much. My part of town doesn’t have any decent parks so it’s well used, not just for those coming to pay their respects. For those of you who’ve been here for a while, it’s often featured in my noticings.
The calm washes over me as soon as I step off the main road past the old flint wall. There are still enough leaves on the trees to wrap me in a green haze. Unfortunately, I immediately have to accept that my trail shoes are definitely not waterproof anymore. Time to reframe it by switching into noticing mode (who am I joking - I’m always in noticing mode!) But at first, it just seems, well meh. Bleurgh, brown mushy leaves, skeleton stems instead of wildflowers. I trudge along, almost wondering whether to give up and go home. Nature doesn’t always have an immediate positive effect, sometimes you do have to give yourself a little talking to and allow yourself to fully be in the moment. Take a deep breath, stop, look, connect.
Amongst the haze of leaves were the lipstick-red jewels of holly berries, borders are full of reddish-orange cotoneaster. A curtain of ivy lit by a shaft of sunlight was audibly and visibly buzzing with bees taking advantage of this late source of nectar and pollen.
Slowly my brain started slowing down and drinking in the goodness. I sought out the wilder patches, noticing how the areas that were cut back due to diseased ash trees have started to heal, I crouched down to admire the hammocks of spider webs amongst the undergrowth.
Lots of the trees are helpfully hanging their treasures at eye level, all the better for noticing. Something about these ash keys also called out to be stroked, they almost felt like feathers running through my fingers, not at all crispy as I imagined.
And then, the bonus for stroking them - I noticed this.
At first, my slightly furry brain presumed it was a caterpillar, but on looking at the photo more closely, and with the help of the inaturalist app, I realised it was an orange ladybird larva. I’m more used to noticing these in spring - when they’re eating the aphids on my roses. So, a bit of research and they overwinter as adults, so I’m not sure what this one was doing still being a larvae. But a glimmer for my nature noticing nonetheless.
Just as I was about to leave, I diverted to what I hoped would bring a big dose of nature joy. It’s a small crab apple tree, which in spring was almost weighed down by blossom.
And I was right, now it was weighed down by rich red fruit almost resembling glace cherries.
And as I was admiring them came a dose of human connection as well as the nature. A man walked past, noticed me photographing them, and asked what type of tree it was, remarking how stunning it was. We talked about how lovely it is to have a tree as a memorial. One that lives on for many more years, giving sustenance and joy to both human and more than human beings.
As I walked home, I pondered that, while it had helped physically, and given me a few dopamine doses of joy, it hadn’t fully cleared the fug. And that’s ok, I can’t blame nature for that. Sometimes the things we are dealing with need more than nature can give us, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth getting outside. I’d had a walk, breathed in the phytoncides (positive natural compounds given off by trees), been in the moment rather than in my head, and connected with others.
Sometimes it’s about the type of natural space. In the back of my mind, I had thought the cemetery wasn’t what I needed that day, but it was all I could physically manage. I think its strength is in spring with abundant blossom and wildflowers.
Today, I realised I needed height and horizon. With Bridget Dog in tow (sometimes literally - she’s mostly a sofa dog) I drove up to the top of the Downs and immediately felt my shoulders drop. From the top of the South Downs (south coast of England) you can (weather permitting) see across the Weald to the North Downs. Having this stretch out in front of you is like a huge sigh. It brings space and calm, your eyes can rest gently on the patchwork of fields and villages. After a bit of internet research, I remembered the science behind this, it switches off our fight/flight response, calming our stress levels - exactly what I needed this morning. Have a look at this webpage for more on this. It’s the same feeling we can get looking at the horizon when sea swimming, or sitting on the beach.
So, what type of nature dose do you need? Some close noticing to bring you back into the moment? A wide horizon to lower stress levels? A dose of fun playing tag in the woods or climbing trees (yes adults can do this too). Whatever you need or can manage, I hope you can bring a little bit of nature into your day - I promise it will be worth it. Let me know in the comments - I love reading what you’ve noticed and done.
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Lovely piece of nature writing. I so resonate with this feeling of having to push yourself to go outside sometimes (especially with chronic fatigue which I also know too well) - but then being so invigorated by it when you do go. I spent a day in the woods the other weekend admiring the autumn foliage and mushroom foraging, and caught myself smiling a lot more than I have recently! Here's to more going outside x
I understand that one of the reasons Capability Brown and similar landscape gardeners created the 'parkland' layout of many stately homes is that it mimics the African savannah where humans evolved and is thus calming, the stretches of grass dotted with oaks and deer is reminiscent of the grassland with of East Africa. So Downton has African influences!